In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
