today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
