And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize