No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
