He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
