I can't breathe out the right side of my face
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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