I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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