Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Found your dick twin last night
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
