My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
