i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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