with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
