spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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