I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
