so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize