i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize