Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
