Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Is it because I queefed?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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