Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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