At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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