You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
