just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
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