Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
