Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
