There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize