do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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