you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
