so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
