i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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