literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
