wanna go halves on a baby?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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