That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You smell like stripper and shame
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
