Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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