1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize