Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
