I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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