toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
