Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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