Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
