Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
