on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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