So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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