i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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