I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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