I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Even my vagina gasped.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
