I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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