When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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