TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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