don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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