someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
