I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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