do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Still dying that you shit outside
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
