She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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