I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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