No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
