So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
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