Can Purell be used as lube?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
