like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
