Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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