"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
